thoughts on being present
Being present. This has been a goal of mine for so long and I think the key to unlocking a lot of anxiety, worry, sadness, etc. The idea came to me in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago to write my thoughts on this but I didn’t have it all fully fleshed out yet. This morning, I did an Open meditation (the Becoming Magnetic program, specifically the Science of Faith meditation) and one of the first lines was
even in the uncertainty, there is presence
To me, the uncertainty here means:
-not knowing how certain things in the future will turn out
-knowing what you really want, praying so hard about it and manifesting and setting intentions, but not knowing when it will come
-not loving the city you live in anymore and itching for more, but not sure where to go
-struggling with being lonely and not having a community or super close friends
-wanting to make all of these plans for future events but it being too soon to do so and then thinking it will never happen
To me, the Presence here means:
-being present
-enjoying exactly where you are at right now because things can change in a second, so don’t wish away your current situation because one day you might look back on it and miss it a little or wish you enjoyed it more
-being still and sitting with your thoughts and feelings. not being distracted by different screens or music, or a podcast, or a book.
-taking more deep breaths- I had my tongue analyzed by an acupuncturist and she said I’m not breathing enough so I’ve been more cognizant of that
It’s all easy to think about but when it comes time to actually “be present” it doesn’t come as naturally to me. I think it’s different for everyone but I want to enjoy each little moment whether it’s sitting on the couch watching a good show all night, cooking a new dinner (or the same dinner you always make), going on a walk, reading in bed or outside— the little things that make up your day. You just notice how you feel during them, and being grateful for the moment you’re in.
Sometimes when I’m in a really good moment and so incredibly happy and excited and I don’t want something to end, I start thinking about what’s next in my day or what’s next to look forward to when I’m in that moment and I’m not actually fully being present, am I? That’s the anxious type A in me and she really needs to chill.
For example, when I was in LA I took a little drive to Rancho Palos Verdes and took a walk around the cliffs and I was SO happy. I was driving along the coast with the windows down and my favorite songs on and my inner monologue was going off: “this is the best day, I’m feeling so happy right now, I don’t want this to end, what am I going to eat for lunch after, how can I make this day even better, how can I recreate this moment another time”. I wish I had stopped my thoughts at the first two and not gone on and on about little things in the future. However, I did notice that in the moment and that was also being present, right? Improvement !!
To sum it all up, being present is noticing each moment you’re in, being grateful for it, and not wishing it away or wishing you were doing something else. Just being.
And for the longer moments and seasons in your life, appreciate them. For me right now, being single is lonely, but I know when I meet my person my life will forever be changed and I might miss this time I had alone in my little apartment in New York cooking my little dinners, watching my shows, having lots of time to read, getting to travel around because I have no real ties to anything right now, etc. So don’t ever wish it away. (Me, telling myself this right now again :)
